Isla is a 42-year-old mum of one living in East Sussex but commuting to London for her role as Head of Copy at a publishing house. She returned to work recently after spending the first few years of her daughter’s life as a stay at home mum. She’s only able to pursue this career due to her husband being able to work from home all the time.
“My daughter Minnie goes to nursery five days a week, which costs us £1,200 a month. I’ll do drop off and pick-up on the days that I am working from home, while my husband does it the rest of the week. My job requires me to be in the office in London three days a week, while his job is completely remote. Minnie loves her nursery, so while she is there more than I would like (9-5 Monday-Friday) she does adore it and it’s cosy and she is loved. If my husband was called into the office, I would have to quit my job – our situation only works because he is fully remote.
“I manage to get out of the house at 7.15am to be at work for 9am, and I leave at 4.30pm on the dot in order to be home for bedtime. It’s a two hour commute which is brutal. I only ‘get ready’ on the days I’m in London. Sometimes my daughter is awake and we spend some time together while I’m doing my make-up but the majority of the time she is still asleep when I leave. I tend to have a bath in the evenings and put out my clothes the night before to save time and stress in the morning. On the mornings I take Minnie to nursery, I am in my comfies that I fling on as I’ve usually slept late as I’m so tired from the commute and catching up on sleep.
“I’ve been back at work for five months, and my daughter has yet to be ill in that time. My husband and I have an agreement that if she is ill on one of my WFH days, I will look after her and vice versa. My work asks that we log this time as a sick day or as a carers day, as we aren’t meant to WFH in these circumstances, which is a contentious point. I have a supportive manager with children, who will help me navigate potentially stressful childcare scenarios.
“Our nursery is term time only, though during half term they provide two days holiday club and three days during longer holidays (although they close over Christmas and the last two weeks of August). It’s a real struggle, we have no family help nearby, so on the days Minnie isn’t in holiday club we might have a strategic mini break to my in-laws so they can help with childcare, but this only works if I am able to WFH. We have been known to put CBEEBies on for a few hours before dropping her at very kind friends who are either stay at home mums or have nannies/au pairs and are happy to have one more little one in the pack. We might also take some annual leave and make the most of Minnie having time off.
“ We have a pretty good system, and my husband and I enjoy a parity of care that many other couples don’t – although my husband is going on three consecutive business trips and I am pretending it’s not happening as I actually can’t get my head around how I can make it work. In an ideal world I would have family nearby to help in those situations. I hate being in London when I know my husband isn’t close to nursery in Sussex. I would also like more WFH flexibility but this is something the business is clamping down on.
“My daughter will go to school in September and I envision her having to do after school clubs/wraparound care to accommodate our work lives. I have a mother’s help who comes into the house an hour a day to help with everything from tidying, doing our laundry, unpacking shopping, running errands etc and it could be we lean in to her doing some school pick ups for us.
“Our jobs require us to be close to London, and with elderly parents living in North Yorkshire and the Isle of Man, moving for proximity to them isn’t an option. They are also in their late 70s and we wouldn’t expect them – nor could they commit to – hands-on intensive childcare. We do have a ‘chosen family’ of local friends who are incredibly supportive and always willing to help with childcare because they have family nearby.”
